Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
