loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I am naked and annoyed.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
