Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize