Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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