i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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