I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
