i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
