I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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