what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i came on her dog
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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