ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
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