I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
