Non-Jews are for practice
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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