I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
