you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
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