I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
