MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
