I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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