I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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