I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
