R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize