Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
