Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
