Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
