If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
accomplished twins. life is a go
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
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