It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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