1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
