I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
