I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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