She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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