I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
