i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
