i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
is that a dick in a sweater?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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