She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
