You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
