So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
