I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
