dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
