he wants to bone in the snuggie
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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