i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
