just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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