i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
