Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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