one two three fourrrrnication!
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize