mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
