So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
