My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Randomize