HIV tests are more positive than that guy
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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