I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Randomize
