im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
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