The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I'm having to shit out rocks
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