Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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