I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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