I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Randomize
