it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
