Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
