Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
