My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
