I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
