Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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