we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
