oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
