Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
