The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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